Thursday, November 10, 2005

Hope

... was the title of a three string guitar piece that I wrote in the fall of 2002 as the United States was being revved up to invade Iraq. I wonder today, three years later, what I exactly was hoping for and how this feeling has evolved.

I was participating in the peace movement at the time; attending rallies, protests, and doing a whole lot of emailing. I didn't know that much about the situation in Iraq, but I knew deep down that we were being totally conned into this war. I can remember being furious at Bush when he made the infamous "mushroom cloud" speech.   I just couldn't believe that the president would go for my psychological jugular!  [I'm the one who has seriously considered suing the US government for the creation, cultivation, use, and preservation of nuclear weapons simply because their existence spawns such severe mental trauma.]   Anyway, it was obvious that we were being manipulated by fear and I was very disturbed by that.

But I eventually fell out of touch with the peace movement. There seemed to be a lot of raw energy behind the whole thing, but I felt that most people were being just as ignorant and malevolent as the pro-war folks.   I began talking to both anti-war and pro-war activists just so I could begin to humanize them and understand their personal intentions. I was trying to see the real causes of everything that was going on and was moving towards an integral view from which I hoped to communicate to both sides.

But as the war picked up speed, I grew more desperate. I felt rushed and so wound up throwing my energies at the flailing peace movement, offering my services as a musician for fundraising, awareness, etc.   Getting Bush out of office seemed like a good solution and so I even did a little gigging for Kerry, hoping he could try and pull us out of the muck. But after Bush got re-elected and I discovered that my personal life was in complete disarray, I completely turned away from the whole thing.

I must be one of the only people in the US who has never seen the video images from 9/11. Nor have I hunted out any real information on the war since its start. (In a certain sense I've figured that I don't have to: after all, I predicted 9/11 in 1994 and had a vivid image of the comig Gulf War's terrible destructive potential from the moment that the propaganda began pouring in.)

However, I think there's something absolutely profound in experiencing these images.    I recently  watched a video about the torturing practices of the US military since the 'war on terror' began in 2001. It brought me to tears again and again as I walked around with my feelings. My heart is raw from opening myself up to the hurt of everyone involved.   My feeling for the war-torn, the soldiers, the victims of 9/11, the Iraqis, the members of Al Qaida, and even the president is the same: sadness. Great and Deep sadness.

You can feel this when you get behind everyone else's eyes. And you see the same longing for peace and love, even behind the most hideous of external actions.

My hope is that as many people as possible will consciously experience this Great Longing, and then act from that innermost point of fearless compassionate being.